Week 7
LPCC Men’s League – Week 8 Chronicle
“The Bib is Back, the Birdies are Angry, and the Mega Party Cometh”
Gentlemen,
Week 8 is in the books, and while some teams are peaking, others are plateauing harder than your uncle’s Fitbit steps after July 1st. This week’s recap is brought to you with the same spirit as your bunker game: a little rough, a lot dramatic, and completely unnecessary to review in slow motion.
Week 7 Results Recap
Let’s get right into it:
Angry Birdies – These guys soared to 1st place like a Titleist on Red Bull. Somewhere between the rage and the fairway, they found the secret sauce.
Stag Knights – The antlers are up, and these boys came galloping into 2nd with a round that was equal parts muscle, mayhem, and miracle putts.
Hilltop Hazards – They might sound like an insurance risk, but they delivered a safe, solid 3rd place finish. No frills, no disasters, just golf that makes your chiropractor proud.
Sip It and Rip It – We have no idea if they sip first or rip first, but either way, they keep showing up and posting numbers. Please hydrate responsibly.
Back 9 Bandits – This crew is built for playoff heists, but they showed up early this week, perhaps confused by the calendar or the price of beer. Still dangerous.
Travis Trail Blazers – The golf was a little warm, the trail was a little crooked, but they’re out here grinding. Respect.
Slice and Dice – It's unclear what exactly they’re slicing and/or dicing, but based on the finish, it might’ve been their own scorecards.
High Rollers – They rolled… just not high. Vegas would not approve.
Handicap Warning: We’re Not Crying Wolf
Let’s have a quick heart-to-heart.
If you're not entering your scores into Golf Canada, your handicap will be reset to ZERO starting July 11. Yes, you read that correctly. Zero. That means you’ll be playing off scratch, and not in the cool, “I'm basically Rory” kind of way.
This isn’t just a Men’s League thing — it impacts all club events. So if you want to play in anything this summer besides “Cart Roulette,” get your scores in. If it was a scramble, please mark it as invalid play. That’s the correct term. Not “Oops,” not “Let’s just pretend this never happened.” INVALID. PLAY.
We have seen a lot of “creative” entries lately. One guy submitted a 59 from the red tees. On a scramble. Stop it. Get help.
50/50 – Delana Support Update
This league continues to show its heart, and to date we’ve raised over $1,570 for Delana. That’s massive. Thank you to all who’ve donated.
For those who haven’t yet: the cans are out again this week — at the Pro Shop, 19th Hole, and Hole #1. No cash? No problem. Grab a chit, fill it out with your name, member number, donation amount, and the magical office wizards will add it to your account. No excuses, gentlemen.
Let’s get that number over $2,000 and show what this league is made of — aside from swing oil and broken dreams.
Van de Velde Bib – Return of the Robe
The Bib was missing. Some said it was stolen. Others claimed it escaped. Rumors swirled of it being sighted at Coachella.
But it’s back. And oh, is it making up for lost time.
Last week’s winner was Brendt Werner-Sahs, and because the bib had ghosted us for a few weeks, we’ve got a runway lineup this week:
Aryton – still recovering emotionally from that triple on 8.
Jerry – looking to set a new record for “most confident man in a bib.”
Brendt – earned it, owned it, and will now model it.
Each of these brave souls will receive $20 F&B credit for their fashion-forward bravery. No autographs, please.
No League Next Week – It’s Not You, It’s Member-Guest
Next Thursday, Men’s League is off, as the course will be consumed by Member-Guest madness. It’s the one week where chaos reigns, carts are customized, and grown men pretend they didn’t just triple a 170-yard par 3 in front of a tent full of sponsors.
Take the night off. Stretch. Apologize to your spouse. Re-glue your driver head. Whatever you need.
Mega Party: July 11 – It’s Happening
Oh yes. The MEGA PARTY. The greatest day of the Men's League calendar. Think Mardi Gras, Oktoberfest, and the Masters Champions Dinner had a baby… then gave it beer.
We’ll have:
Vendors
Games
Ridiculous contests
Free samples of bad decisions
Beer. So much beer.
Massive thanks to our MVP sponsors, without whom this party would just be a sad BBQ with three lawn chairs:
Tool Needs – Brendt Werner-Sahs, Brett, Lenny Beauparlant,
GP Wealth Management – Paul Lord, Michael Venditelli
Root, Bissonette & Walker – Ryan Bissonette, Andrew Walker
Welland Chevrolet – Mike & Heather Knapp
Rinaldi Homes – Jerry Rinaldi
There are still a few sponsor spots available during the rest of the year, so if you or your business want to be a part, contact David Slaine before he gives your spot to someone else (and he will).
That’s it for Week 8
Gentlemen, we’re on the back half of the season. The standings are tightening. The chirps are flying. The bib is circulating. And the Mega Party looms. Buckle up.
See you on the tee (unless you’ve been bibbed, in which case, we’ll see you on the catwalk).
— Your LPCC Men’s League Committee
Professional golf league. Amateur everything else.
