Week 2
LPCC Men’s League – Week 2 Chronicle
Week 2 came in hot—literally. The weather was perfect, the course was packed tighter than the cooler in Cart 4, and the 19th hole? Let’s just say it was rowdy enough that even the trees were side-eyeing us. A full day of golf, laughter, questionable fashion choices, and enough swing tips from random guys in cargo shorts to fill a textbook titled: “How Not To Play Golf.”
Let’s break it all down, one meltdown at a time.
Leaderboard Lunacy
Let’s start at the top:
Hilltop Hazards are officially in their “main character era,” pulling off a second straight team win and clinging to the #1 spot like a guy with a 2-shot lead and the yips. But in a twist more painful than a double on 18, they lost their Captain’s Pick, proving that karma has a wicked slice.
The Stag Knights rose from Week 1's mediocrity like a phoenix from the ashes—or maybe like a guy who found his driver after two beers. They leapfrogged into a tie for 2nd with last year’s gold-chain-wearing champs, the Back Nine Bandits, who clearly aren’t ready to hand over their crown without a scrap in the parking lot.
As for the mid-pack chaos? It’s a dogfight with divots.
Angry Birdies, Sip It and Rip It, Slice and Dice, Travis Trail Blazers, and High Rollers are all within 15 strokes. Which, as you know, is about the difference between “I’m in the mix” and “I forgot how to putt today.” This league is wide open, folks. Even your team has a chance… allegedly.
Committee Crisis & Craig’s Emotional Spiral
You know what’s fun? Sunshine, golf, beers with the boys.
You know what’s NOT fun? Someone casually saying, “Hey, I think my score’s wrong.” (Blake - not to mention names...LOL)
And just like that… Craig, our Excel whisperer and spreadsheet sensei, went into DEFCON 1.
There were whispers of divorce. There were visible forehead veins. He briefly Googled “how to fake your own death using a golf cart.” It was grim.
He knew what it meant: hours of backtracking, manually checking scores, re-reading handwriting that looked like it was done by a tranquilized squirrel. But the hero we needed (and possibly didn’t deserve) fought through it. Scores are fixed, marriages are intact—for now.
So let’s use this painful moment as a learning opportunity:
Scoring for Dummies (Yes, You)
When a hole is CLOSED (like your ears when rules are explained), use the following logic:
Handicap 11 or under – Score a Par
Handicap 12 to 29 – Score a Bogey
Handicap 30+ – Score a Double Bogey
Got it? Good. If not, please report directly to the Lost and Found—you’ve clearly misplaced your brain.
For TEMP GREENS:
Play the hole as normal.
If your shot lands inside the painted circle, that’s an automatic 2-putt.
If you actually sink it from there in one? Legend. Brag immediately.
(Then miss a 3-footer on the next hole to restore balance.)
Course Update – Week 3
Hole 4: Temporary Green
Hole 8: Closed
Back 9 coming in Week 4 – Tell your sand wedge to get its life together.
Van de Velde Bib Alert
Congratulations to Rick D’Angelo, who has earned the right (and public humiliation) of donning the Van de Velde Bib this Thursday. Rick, please:
Pick it up at the clubhouse
Wear it proudly (bonus points for posing like it’s Fashion Week)
Take a picture of your stylish shame and send it to
lopccmensleaguecommittee@gmail.com
We’ll hook you up with a Food & Beverage gift card at the Pro Shop counter, assuming you survive the roast.
50/50 Winner – John Craig
Big congrats to John Craig, who won $300 in the Week 2 50/50 draw!
…Too bad he wasn’t anywhere near the club when the draw was announced.
League law dictates: If you win and ghost the party, you buy drinks next time.
See you Thursday, Johnny. Start pouring. Looks like your better half has scooped up the money already
