Daniel KlimComment

Week 4

Daniel KlimComment
Week 4

LPCC Men’s League – Week 4 Chronicle
“Dry Socks, Temporary Greens, and Questionable Life Choices”

Well gentlemen, Week 2 was a bust. A washout. A full-blown “Noah’s Ark Invitational.” The rain came down like the sky had a vendetta, and golf was replaced with indoor chores, sulking, and questioning your life choices.

In fact, the course was so wet last week that tuna were spotted golfing their way upstream on Hole#8. One even made birdie (Picture below). Still waiting on his GHIN.

But rejoice! Week 3 (or 4 whatever floats your boat) is ON, and we’re back on the front nine (Brad Lied in the last chronicle), More holes to play and where things are mostly dry, mostly green, and only mildly swamp-like.

Hole #4: TEMPORARY GREEN ALERT

That’s right. Hole #4 still thinks it's in recovery mode and is rocking a temporary green. Here’s how it works for those who just skim the emails:

  • Play the hole like normal until your ball lands inside the white circle (the VIP section of this disaster).

  • Once you're in the circle, it’s an automatic two-putt, unless you:
    a) sink it on the first roll (good luck), or
    b) dunk it from the fairway like a golfing unicorn.

Anyone “accidentally” putting three times from inside the circle will be publicly ridiculed and possibly forced to wear Crocs for the rest of the season.

This Week’s Sponsor: John Craig from Everline Coatings

Big thank you to John Craig for sponsoring this week!
John’s with Everline Coatings & Services, the go-to crew for line painting, asphalt repair, and surface maintenance. Basically, if your parking lot looks like your scorecard, they can help.

Check them out at:  https://everlinecoatings.com/ca/hamilton-niagara/

And if you're a business owner looking to slap your name on this beautiful chaos, we’re still accepting sponsors for weekly rounds, the Mega Party, and Closing Night. Don’t miss your chance to market directly to 100+ men who think they’re still in their athletic prime.

Divot Tools – Come and Get ‘Em

Welcome gifts have arrived! Head to the Pro Shop and ask for your Team Divot Tool. It’s sleek, it’s shiny, and it’s going to spend most of its life rattling in your golf bag. Just tell them your team name and they’ll mark you down. One per player—this isn’t Costco.

Team Shirts – Update

Good news: they’re coming soon. Bad news: we don’t know exactly when. But when they do arrive, you’ll finally be able to show up looking like a team instead of a group of confused tourists with matching hats. Stay tuned.

Coming Soon – The Complaint/Suggestion/Emotional Breakdown Box

Yes, it’s true—we’re launching an Issue Resolution System. Whether you've got ideas, complaints, or a 3-page essay on why the 6th hole is cursed, we want to hear it. Soon you’ll be able to submit feedback in an actual organized way, instead of grumbling into your driver headcover like a lunatic.

Flights Attached

They’re back! That magical spreadsheet of which flight you are in, who’s going to carry your team, and who’s still “working on their swing.” Check the attached flights, find your crew, and try not to be late—we're watching.

That’s it for now. Play well, score honestly, and for the love of wedges, don’t three-putt inside the circle on #4. See you out there!

– The LPCC Men’s League Chronicle Team